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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 5:41 pm
by Chris
...and the next...

The Plans of Mice and Action Figures

Across the Blanket Plain, over the Pillow Mountains and then left at Box Cave, a group of now fully awake action figures formed a circle around a hovering stuffed eyeball. A tin-foil crown rested atop the eyeball, and he addressed the assembled action figures with a voice that spoke of authority.

“You toys know what we’re up against,” he shouted to the action figures. “That goody two-shoes Santa has brought more of those wretched Fuzzy Heroes together, and our intelligence reports that they are working on this.” The eyeball held aloft a picture of the Fuzzy Heroes building a castle. “I am certain the Fuzzy Heroes are behind this.”

“No, if you look at the photo,” interrupted an action figure dressed as a reporter, “You can see they are outside of it.”

The eyeball ignored him and continued. “We need time to gather our forces and construct weapons. We need time to free our brothers from the clutches of their selfish owners in the real world. We also need a plan to stop the fuzzies from returning to the real world.”

* * * * * * *

Six turns away, the Fuzzy Heroes were nearing the completion of their castle. Stuffed toys were pulling the final blocks into place, spiders were hoisting decorative gargoyles onto the outer walls (and the gargoyles weren’t terribly pleased about it), and the more skilled toys were mounting doors and shutters for the windows. Princess Barbara was at a small table running a plastic brush through her hair in preparation for the grand opening.

“Well,” announced Energy Mouse, “She’s almost done.” He smiled with pride.

“Hah,” retorted Taiwan, “I can see you don’t know Princess Barbara very well. She’ll be at least another 6 turns just combing her hair!”

Energy Mouse sighed. He should have expected this.

“The castle, Taiwan. The castle is almost done. Still, I don’t want any further delays given your report on the naughty toys. Maybe you should get Princess Barbara some mousse.”

Taiwan left immediately, happy to have a task that would help his fuzzy friends.

* * * * * *

“We must imprison the Fuzzy Heroes until they realize that freedom is more important than helping,” continued the eyeball.

“That won’t do any good,” commented a blue-garbed military action figure with a picture of a snake on his chest. He called himself General Mayhem. “Santa will simply replace the darn toys as fast as we capture them.” General Mayhem paused, polishing his bayonet.

“You have a good point, General” agreed the floating eyeball.

“Thanks,” smiled the action figure, holding forth the bayonet, “It’s always worked for me.”

“Not that you idiot!” retorted the eyeball. “Your strategic argument. Something must be done about Santa if we hope to win!”

* * * * * * *

Taiwan trotted happily back to the spot where he had left Energy Mouse supervising the final aspects of the castle’s construction. He had met two new friends at the edge of the Fluffy Forest, and had convinced them to join him in order to help Princess Barbara prepare. They now returned to the castle construction site.

“What are we supposed to do?” asked a small stuffed squirrel with a cape and aviator goggles.

“Gee Rock, I don’t know,” answered a large moose. “…but then, I never do."

Energy Mouse looked up as the three approached and quietly placed his face in the palm of his hand.


PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:56 pm
by Chris
Soon... soon!

Don’t Toy With Me, Santa!

The Eye King, formerly Eye Decay, tried to smile, but discovered he had no mouth. He settled for expressing his pleasure verbally.
“This is a great plan, Big Lizard. Choose your team.”

The large dinosaur from Tokyo smiled in return. He quickly pointed at an action figure in a gray uniform with a large, gizmo-covered backpack. The action figure quickly strode over to his side.
“I’m happy to be a part of this program!” he said excitedly.

“You too,” said Big Lizard with a wave at a wrestler toy who’s arms were able to stretch to enormous lengths.
“Ok,” the toy answered, moving to the dinosaur’s side, “but be careful, I’m on recall.”

The Eye King floated forward. It was time to reveal the plan to all of his followers.
“We plan to kidnap Santa to prevent him bringing any new toys to our world. Separated from his bag and his sleigh, he’ll be powerless. We will negate his abilities and foil his plans.”

“What if he gets away?” asked Big Lizard, worried.

“Then we shall RE-negate him!” yelled the Eye King.

“That’s it!” cried the dinosaur, “We’ll be Re-Negates!”

The crowd took up the cry. Before the Eye King had time to correct their incredible mauling of the language, their group had been named. They were now the Renegades. The Eye King knew that argument was pointless.
“All right then Big Lizard, hit the dusty trail!”

Big Lizard balled up a mighty, clawed fist and pounded the surface of the plain before him.

No, you idiot,” screamed the Eye King, his patience at an end. “Get on with the mission!”

“Give me a break,” the dinosaur retorted. “My brain is the size of a pea and it’s made of stuffing.”

The three Renegades then turned and left to retrieve Santa.